The haggis is widely believed to be a Scottish delicacy made from a sheep's stomach
stuffed with wheat and barley, among other things.

However, rumors persist of the haggis in fact being a small furry animal native to Scotland. It has 3 legs and lives on hillsides, having evolved the shorter third leg for its habitat. This evolutionary advantage makes it very difficult to catch. To date, none have been reported live in captivity. However, it appears to have clandestinely boarded seafaring vessels in the past and has now been sighted throughout hilly bits of the known world.

These are the...

TALES OF THE HAGGIS

	"I was stunned," wrote AP photographer Daryl Johnson. "I never saw it until the photo was developed. I didn't know what to make of it. It was like a ghost, just... there." He trembled with the memory. "I don't know what it is, but it should be shot." He then turned his attention to the haggis on PM Tony Blair's shoulder. "Oh, that. Yeah, a haggis."
(c.1894) Jabez Hughes had thought he had seen something in the burst of flash powder. Little did he know that he had caught a moment in time: a queen... and a haggis.
	Australian tourist Bruce Cummings didn't know what to make of it. "I had added a nice polarizing filter and lined up a great shot, then this odd furry thing went and buggered it up. I think he's trying to hold up the Eiffel Tower. Ha ha, very funny." His voice was devoid of humor.
Mathew Brady was honored to be Abraham Lincoln's photographer. However, upon seeing this photo, Lincoln reportedly demanded, "What the hell is THAT?! Is this some kind of joke to you? You're fired!" Mr. Lincoln had obviously been the victim of yet another playful haggis.
	Painter Christophe Aubergine was known to paint exactly what he saw in vivid detail, leaving one to assume that he did so in this painting as well. Here, his subject, Napoleon Bonaparte, may be completely unaware of his companion, or he may be reaching into his jacket for some haggis feed. Tough call.
Mahatma Ghandi was known as a man of peace who wouldn't hurt a fly. However, he is reported to have flung this haggis clear to Bombay when it caught him off guard in this photo.
	This is a more recent sighting by Mrs. Elizabeth Thomas of Pasadena, California. "I was watching the live stage version of Lord of the Dance, and out of nowhere this thing attacked Michael Flatley! It savaged him, messing up his hair, and then it was just gone! I can't understand why anyone would attack Mr. Flatley, and I especially don't understand why the audience cheered so!"
Another otherwise perfect photo ruined by a haggis sighting. This one was in Tahiti.
	When in Rome, do as the Romans. This haggis caught a Roman posing for a picture in front of the Colliseum.
(c. 1971) Mrs. Edna Bagley of London was visiting India when she was caught unawares by this haggis.
	Weldon Williams had no idea that a haggis was in his hair when this family photo was taken. He pulled a pistol out of his wife's hair and shot at it, but it escaped. Fortunately for Mr. Williams, the bullet did not penetrate his well-laquered coif.
Secret Agent Tony Motto submitted this proof that the Celts have a weapon of mass destruction. With luck the UN will then grant authority for UN forces to be deployed in the area. The Celts are still denying that any such weapon exists though!

Play the Haggis Hunt!

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